That's intense
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
