He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
