Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
