You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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