I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
