Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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