no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
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