This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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