i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
