So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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