We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
