btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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