so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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