grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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