i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
