I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
try to milk me bitch
You don't make any sense
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