Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
