wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
