My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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