I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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