I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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