They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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