anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
