my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
is that a dick in a sweater?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
