I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
