If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
