Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she told me i tasted like america
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
