im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
