i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You can't just leave with hair like that
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
