All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
