How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Randomize
