Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
