If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
