remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
