I can tuck mytits in my pants
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize