I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
