Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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