So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
