return my video game
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
