Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
