I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
