I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
