Midget sex pt 2 tonight
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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