tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
