You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
