You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
