oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
