hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
50% drunk capacity currently
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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