it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
No subtext here. People are naked.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
