I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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