So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
