i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
