is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You ruined the universe
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
