I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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