It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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